A man so atrocious that a modified version of Darth Vader’s theme is used to introduce him more than once, Charles Montgomery Burns is far and away the most evil character in The Simpsons. More commonly referred to simply as Mr. Burns, he is the owner of Springfield’s nuclear power plant and has the resources to take over every channel on television. He certainly dominates the screen on the viewers’ televisions and has been since 1990 (originally voiced by Christopher Collins, who was replaced by Harry Shearer in season two).
Sometimes Mr. Burns can be forgiving, even generous, but he’s usually led by his most immoral instincts. Whether he’s eighty-one, one-hundred and four, or as old as the dinosaurs, the old man’s presence commands as much attention from the audience as any other character in this beloved program. It goes without saying that his greatest episodes showcase his hilariously broken moral compass, outdated way of speaking, and unequal power dynamic with his assistant, Smithers. However, they also display the nuances and various emotions that make him at least semi-human and not just a two-dimensional personification of villainy.
The Simpsons
- Release Date
- December 17, 1989
- Seasons
- 36
- Studio
- Fox
- Main Genre
- Comedy
10 “Burns’ Heir”
Season 5, Episode 18 (1994)
He may be the most evil Simpsons character, but in “Burns’ Heir,” Burns is so weak that a sponge is heavy enough to make him sink in the tub. As his life flashes before his eyes, the audience sees that he has been evil his entire life. He doesn’t die, but the near-death experience nevertheless makes him hold auditions for a Springfield child to become his rightful heir. His plan to bury Smithers alive with his corpse is side-splitting, and no one is shocked that Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright) is his favorite potential heir.
That changes when Bart wrecks the old man’s yard. Burns’ subsequent attempt to mold the boy in his own image and give him “a mighty hump” is one of his most entertaining storylines in the show. Burns shows Bart that there is such a way to laugh too hard at Itchy and Scratchy, and later poses a challenge to Lenny that’s so simple and yet so amusingly absurd. It’s also revealed that Mr. Burns has hidden cameras in every Springfield home, providing even more welcome comedy. While this is an inconsistent episode for Homer, Burns effortlessly carries this one on his hunched back.
9 “Simpson and Delilah”
Season 2, Episode 2 (1990)
Mr. Burns can seem either underwritten or overly friendly in later seasons, but what does it look like when the classic Mr. Burns is actually on Homer’s side? Look no further than season two’s “Simpson and Delilah,” where the nuclear tycoon pushes Smithers away and allows the youthful-looking Homer to slowly take his place. In response, a rejected Smithers schemes to get Homer fired. It’s a fun role reversal, where Smithers is clearly the meaner of the two.
Along with an ivory back-scratcher bit, Burns’ shock from witnessing a dollar go up in flames, and lines like “Blast his hide to Hades,” this is Mr. Burns as he should be written. What stands out most, however, is the man’s ability to empathize with Homer over their mutual male-patterned baldness. The viewer even feels a little bad for old Charles Montgomery, concluding an episode with unexpected nuance for a character who’s usually so easy to hate.
8 “Brush with Greatness”
Season 2, Episode 18 (1991)
It’s difficult to imagine a list about Mr. Burns without his magnificently grotesque portrait. After yet another artist fails to impress, Smithers points out that an employee’s wife has just won an art contest and can be intimidated into painting him. Thus begins an odd but cool storyline in which Mr. Burns poses for Marge in the Simpson home, much to Homer’s distress. He reacts to Maggie’s embrace the way normal people react to cockroaches, detests Lisa’s saxophone playing, and isn’t very nice to anybody.
This makes Marge’s job pretty hard in the episode, since he’s looking for a portrait that makes him look noble. When he finally tells Homer (who has been on a diet) that he’s the fattest thing he’s ever seen, “and I’ve been on safari,” Marge finally tells him that she can finish the painting without him around. What she comes up with is a full-frontal nude on a dark purple background. Burns doesn’t look nice, strong, or handsome. Surprisingly, though, he concludes that he knows what he hates, “and I don’t hate this.” It just goes to show that even a brutal man like himself can appreciate the brutal truth.
7 “Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk”
Season 3, Episode 11 (1991)
There is something so silly and yet so right about Mr. Burns requiring a puppet to talk about his feelings. Early on in “Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk,” he tells Snappy the Alligator that he doesn’t want to own the power plant anymore, as there are so many things he hasn’t done yet. Meanwhile, Homer and all the other employees are notified that they were given valuable stock in the company (in exchange for “waving certain constitutional rights”). He goes on to sell the plant for one hundred million dollars.
This features Burns’ impression of Elvis, as well as a tour through the land of chocolate. Mr. Burns doesn’t try to conquer the world, but instead takes up boxing, beekeeping, and other harmless hobbies. His best line might be when he hears “The mirthless laugh of the damned” coming from within Moe’s Tavern. It’s hilarious to watch Mr. Burns pretend to be afraid of someone, and the image of him dangling a knife over a teddy bear in the end sums him up exquisitely.
6 “Homer at the Bat”
Season 3, Episode 17 (1992)
Mr. Burns goes to extreme lengths to win a bet in one of the best sports episodes of The Simpsons, “Homer at the Bat.” His team is having a very promising season, but he wagers another power plant owner a million dollars that his own team will win the championship. As if taking on just a few players wasn’t enough, Burns replaces his entire roster with Major League Baseball greats. It’s hilarious that Smithers is able to persuade them all to join the power plant for a fraction of their former salaries, but that’s just the beginning of the absurdity.
Burns sabotages himself when he encourages Ken Griffey, Jr. to drink a nerve tonic that eventually gives him gigantism. He also hires a hypnotist who makes Roger Clemens believe he’s a chicken. The funniest part, though, has got to be the recurring bit in which he totally baffles Don Mattingly by ordering him to shave off his sideburns. Mattingly doesn’t have sideburns, but risks looking like a fool in the attempt to follow impossible instructions. Mr. Burns may be a tough boss, but this episode shows that he’s a tougher manager.
5 “Bart Gets Hit By a Car”
Season 2, Episode 10 (1991)
Mr. Burns is a greedy monopolist who doesn’t consider anyone else his equal and can fire people with no crisis of conscience, but he would surely help someone if they were hit by his own car, right? Wrong. When he and Smithers accidentally run into a reckless Bart on his skateboard, it’s Smithers who gets out of the car to help. Burns telling him to just give the kid a nickel is one of many marvelous lines that come out of his mouth in this season two masterpiece.
“I should be able to run over as many kids as I want!” exclaims the nuclear plant magnate in civil court. Not the savviest statement, but the judge openly backs off when he threatens to put Mr. Burns in contempt and the old man replies, “You wouldn’t dare.” This is vintage Burns, and this episode boasts what is probably the most comically casual delivery of Mr. Burns’ iconic catchphrase, “Release the hounds.” Taken all together, his money, power, and macabre nature are on full display.
4 “$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)”
Season 5, Episode 10 (1993)
Season 5’s “$pringfield” features Mr. Burns’ longest laugh in the show’s history. This man is so absurdly diabolical that the viewer can’t help but laugh along. Having lived through twelve recessions and eight panics, he’s not intimidated by Springfield’s slow economy. When it’s suggested they legalize gambling, he cheerfully announces that the casino will help his stranglehold on the town (which the townspeople applaud).
Once his new business is up and running, Burns makes so much money so easily that he swiftly reaches a Howard Hughes level of paranoia over germs. He neither sleeps nor shaves, designing a plane (called The Spruce Moose) that he doesn’t even realize is only at model size. Other delightful details include his meeting with Henry Kissinger and his immediate willingness to arbitrarily fire several employees. Burns fits perfectly into this episode, even if he can’t fit into that plane.
3 “Blood Feud”
Season 2, Episode 22 (1991)
Mr. Burns begins Season 2’s remarkable finale at death’s door. He needs double-O-negative blood, and it’s up to Bart to donate. It’s priceless to watch him recite his melodramatic epitaph as he exponentially regains his strength. After writing the Simpsons a thank-you note that doesn’t have any money in it, Mr. Burns gets an angry letter from Homer. It’s terrifying and hilarious to watch the mogul read this in real-time, followed by a monologue in which he thinks about giving Homer a slow punishment before deciding to “just crush him like an ant.”
“Blood Feud” is one of Homer Simpson’s best episodes, too, and Smithers definitely comes through for him by (gradually) calling off the severe beating that was coming his way. The scene in which Burns finds out (“Judas!”) is both hilarious and wholesome. This leads to a Dr. Seuss-like monologue in which Mr. Burns thinks about what to buy the Simpsons out of gratitude. He eventually settles on Xtapolapocetl, a giant Olmec head, but his book “Will There Ever Be A Rainbow?” also humorously demonstrates that this man can be magnanimous without striking false.
2 “Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)”
Season 6, Episode 25 (1995)
In one of the creepiest episodes outside the “Treehouse of Horror” anthology, Mr. Burns already owns the water works, the electric company, and apparently a bad hotel. But after stealing the oil from beneath Springfield Elementary, he decides to reinforce his monopoly on power with an act so heinous that even his loyal assistant balks: he blocks out the sun, leaving Springfield dependent on his electric lights 24/7. Quite an ambitious plot, and it certainly brings him to the epitome of evil.
It’s a feature-film-worthy premise, but being the only two-parter in Simpsons history is good enough. Burns’ attempt to beat up Principal Skinner rings false, as he should be able to hire goons to do that, but such moments are made up for with scenes like when he comes up with the idea of stealing candy from a baby. Then there’s every single time he forgets Homer’s name, which drives the Simpson patriarch mad. Meanwhile, watching Mr. Burns’ dynamic with Smithers slowly deteriorate is very compelling, making this one of his most unique and captivating stories.
1 “Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish”
Season 2, Episode 4 (1990)
What can make the most powerful citizen in Springfield tremble? An inspection. In one of the most iconic Simpsons episodes, Mr. Burns is so afraid of the people testing the plant for its adherence to safety regulations that he asks Smithers to hold him. Failing to bribe the inspector, he needs to spend about fifty-six million dollars to whip his ludicrously dangerous facility back into shape. That’s a lot of dough, leading to a surprisingly dramatic scene in which he drinks alone, hopeless, singing in the dark of his office.
So he runs for governor to change the law. “Average Joe Six-Pack” is just one of the many degrading names he uses to refer to the common voter, and his lack of familiarity with smiling (at least in a non-sadistic fashion) is outstanding. Then there’s the live commercial that starts earlier than he expected, leading to one of the show’s funniest moments. With Burns at the helm and Blinky the three-eyed-fish by his side, this episode dissects the election process better than any other. At the same time, quotes like “We’ll destroy something tasteful” cement this season two installment as the ultimate Burns narrative.
