Modern Family quickly became a beloved sitcom after it premiered on ABC in 2009, with its documentary-style storytelling of three related families, Jay Pritchett and his two adult children, Claire and Mitchell, and their own spouses and children, all in different phases of their lives and living in suburban Los Angeles. Modern Family was a funny yet heartfelt look at contemporary families that showed that no matter how different families may seem, they all have more in common than one might think. It ran for 11 seasons and over 250 episodes, coming to an end in 2020.
While Modern Family was known for its humor, of course, it also had plenty of moments of insight and depth. The combination of these is reflected in some of the show’s most memorable quotes, from the best pieces of “Phil’s-osophy” to Claire’s reflections on the passage of time. The best of them serve as a reminder of why the show resonated so much with fans.
Modern Family
- Release Date
- September 23, 2009
- Seasons
- 11
- Main Genre
- Comedy
- Studio
- ABC
15 “You’re never alone when you have books.”
Alex Dunphy (Season 2, Episode 3)
In “Earthquake,” each member of the family had a different reaction to an earthquake. After Claire (Julie Bowen) got trapped in the bathroom with a plumber, Phil (Ty Burrell) and Haley (Sarah Hyland) both used it as an opportunity – him to lie about having anchored a cabinet to the wall and pretend it never fell over during the earthquake, and her to sneak out to a party. Alex (Ariel Winter) promised to cover for Haley if she drove her to the Museum of Tolerance.
It’s a very typical quote for the intelligent, studious Alex – it speaks to her priorities and love of books, as well as how little she cared about having a busy social life, especially in comparison to Haley. It’s also a quote that will resonate with other bookworms, as it suggests the stories and characters in books are always there, something to turn to not just for entertainment, but also as a form of companionship.
14 “Act like a parent, talk like a peer. I call it ‘peerenting.'”
Phil Dunphy (Season 1, Episode 1)
The very first episode of Modern Family introduced audiences to the three families. At the Dunphy house, Claire chastised Haley for an outfit she considered inappropriate, and when she asked Phil for backup, he instead told Haley the skirt her mother thought was too short was cute. He then had to free Luke’s (Nolan Gould) head from the banister. The episode showcased the likable Phil’s goofy sense of humor and his awkwardness, but most importantly, his love of his kids.
The series established Phil’s personality almost immediately, including his laid-back approach to relating to his kids as one of their peers—it was just the first in a series of examples over the years of the way Phil prided himself on being a “cool dad.” His attempts at “peerenting” were funny to watch, if embarrassing for his kids, and his comment on the parenting style also managed to offer a glimpse at what his own upbringing was like.
13 “Success is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration, and 2% attention to detail.”
Phil Dunphy (Season 4, Episode 2)
In the Season 4 episode “Schooled,” Claire and Phil dropped Haley off at college. Before they left, Phil gave her a final parting gift – a book full of the lessons he’d learned in life, which he called “Phil’s-osophy.” Among the many quotes and pieces of advice, all very typical of Phil, was his recipe for success, which combined inspiration, perspiration, and attention to detail. And Haley actually did read it, prompting her to call her parents and thank them.
Many profound thinkers have put forth their formulas for success over the years, but none as wonderfully as Phil Dunphy. There is some truth to it, as it touches on the power of hard work. Best of all, though, Phil’s formula doesn’t add up to 100% – the 2% of attention to detail pushes it to 101%. It’s a very typical Phil joke, and it suggests attention to detail maybe isn’t so important after all.
12 “Look at them: A minute ago they were babies, and now they’re driving, and soon we’ll all be dead.”
Claire Dunphy (Season 2, Episode 1)
When the Dunphy family’s garage was getting too crowded, Claire asked Phil to sell their old station wagon in Modern Family‘s Season 2 premiere. But as they cleaned it out, they found relics from their children’s childhoods, making it a bittersweet nostalgic experience for Claire especially. The station wagon meant something much more to her than just a car – it represented a large part of their lives – but she was able to part with it in the end.
The quote is funny yet poignant. Although Claire thought far ahead into the future and the statement took a morbid turn, it was a meaningful comment on the passage of time and how quickly it seems to go, especially when it comes to kids growing up. It’s very relatable, but it’s bound to resonate with parents especially. The moment also emphasized that the focus of the show was family.
11 “Everybody’s desperately afraid, to be different, you know, in any way. And then […], almost overnight, everybody wants to be different, and that is where we win.”
Mitchell Pritchett (Season 1, Episode 18)
Gloria’s (Sofia Vergara) son, Manny (Rico Rodriguez), struggled to fit in at school in the show’s first season, and in the episode “Starry Night,” Jay (Ed O’Neill) took him on a camping trip after he wasn’t invited to a classmate’s party because other kids thought he was weird. Jay asked Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) to talk to Manny, resulting in the two sharing a sweet, heartfelt moment as Mitchell shared his own experiences with being picked on at school.
Modern Family was always a show that celebrated diversity, and this quote was a perfect example. It was a reminder of how when people are young, they want to fit in, but as they get older, they often do the opposite and try to set themselves apart from others. It also spoke to the fact that while some people might consider certain traits “weird,” those differences are what make people unique, which is something to be proud of.
10 “People can surprise you. You can get used to thinking of them one way […] and then they do something that there’s all this depth and dimension that you never knew existed.”
Mitchell Pritchett (Season 2, Episode 18)
Mitchell and Cameron (Eric Stonestreet) enjoyed a night out with friends in Season 2’s “Boys’ Night.” They were even joined by Jay, who used the night as a way of getting out of going to the symphony with Gloria and Manny but ended up having a good time. Later, while watching a movie starring Rob Lowe, Mitchell commented on his acting, saying he never got the credit he deserved, possibly because of his good looks.
Mitchell’s quote on the ways people can surprise you was actually a comment about Rob Lowe’s acting, but it ended up being a deeper observation about people and others’ judgments of them which summed up the theme of the entire episode. The moment shows not just Mitchell’s growth as a character, as he tended to be judgmental early in the series, but it also says something bigger about how people perceive each other.
9 “There are dreamers and there are realists in this world.”
Cameron Tucker (Season 3, Episode 9)
Season 3’s Thanksgiving episode, “Punkin Chunkin,” featured a story from Cam about launching a pumpkin across a football field – which Mitchell doubted was even possible. And it turned out he wasn’t alone, as when Cam questioned the family, they were split, with some agreeing that it had been made up. To prove it, the entire family headed to the nearest football field, but when the pumpkin didn’t make it very far, Claire and Mitchell weren’t as satisfied by being right as they expected and suggested making another attempt.
In “Punkin Chunkin,” Cam made a profound observation about what draws dreamers and realists to each other and how they complement each other. It was a sweet moment when the family came together – dreamers and realists in their own right – to do something fun and silly. It’s a great quote from Cam and a highlight of the episode, but it’s made all the better by the fact that it’s juxtaposed with footage of a pumpkin soaring through the sky.
8 “I would love to be wrong, but I don’t live with the right people for that.”
Claire Dunphy (Season 3, Episode 2)
In “When Good Kids Go Bad,” Claire delivers the line to Haley after she teases her mom about having to be right all the time. At this point in the episode, Claire has had it. In the opening, she gets knocked out by a grocery cart that Phil was pushing while the couple were shopping together. She later insists to Phil that he’s at fault, but he begs to differ. And by the time she delivers this line, Phil is trying to be the bigger person, urging his children to let the matter go. However, this only pushes Claire to the edge, referring to Phil and her children as the “Pile-on-Claire Club.” Determined to prove she is right, Claire even goes as far as securing the surveillance footage from the store and eventually proves that Phil is at fault.
That said, knowing that their mom is right does little to change the children’s feelings about Claire. They’re even shocked that she went to such extreme lengths to prove that she’s right, which has been an ongoing issue with the character. This episode also explores how children often mirror their parents’ tendencies and, as it turns out, Claire’s insistence on being right was something that she picked up from her father, Jay, growing up. – Jennifer Ong
7 “You’ll never go broke playing to a rich man’s ego. Write that down.”
Manny Delgado (Season 3, Episode 4)
In “Door to Door,” Manny has to sell wrapping paper to raise funds so that his drama club can buy tickets to watch LesMisérables. Initially, Manny was expecting that Jay would just write him a check, but the family patriarch sees the activity as a teachable moment for his stepson. He encourages Manny to knock on doors and practice his sales skills. As Manny would soon discover, however, nobody wants to buy wrapping paper from a door-to-door salesman. Later on, the young boy switches tactics, lamenting to Jay that he’ll never measure up to his stepfather’s success. Jay, in turn, feels bad and offers to buy Manny’s wrapping paper. In the next scene, Manny delivers the quote.
Throughout the series, Manny has always been someone who can figure things out for himself. This is, perhaps, a trait that he developed when he and Gloria were still on their own. Years later, it still serves Manny well. – Jennifer Ong
6 “Belle’s a princess. She faced The Beast. She stood up to the townspeople. What have you done?”
Lily Tucker-Pritchett (Season 5, Episode 17)
In the episode, Lily (Aubrey Anderson-Emmons) goes shopping with Claire and Gloria for a dress that she’ll wear to Mitchell and Cam’s wedding. While at the mall, the young girl spots a dress that looks exactly like Belle’s in Beauty and the Beast. However, Gloria and Claire argue that the dress is inappropriate for the wedding. Later on, Lily sneaks away from her grandmother and aunt and puts the Belle dress on. It also turns out that her parents don’t mind if Lily comes to their wedding as Belle. “A gay wedding is hardly the place to stop someone from being who they want to be,” Mitchell even tells Claire over the phone.
Meanwhile, Lily’s line is also a reflection of how well Cam and Mitchell have encouraged the young girl to be her true self. Because of this, she knows exactly what she likes and doesn’t give in to peer pressure quite easily. She also later grows up into a very smart and confident young woman. – Jennifer Ong
5 “You know how growing up we all have that voice inside our head that tells us we’re not good enough? Well, mine was outside my head driving me to school.”
Claire Dunphy (Season 1, Episode 4)
“The Incident” sees the whole family deal with the unexpected return of DeDe (Shelley Long), Jay’s ex-wife and Claire and Mitchell’s mother, into their lives. As it turns out, DeDe has been estranged from her family ever since she made a scene at Jay and Gloria’s wedding and ruined the reception. She’s determined to make amends as the incident has led to some intimacy issues with her new lover. DeDe comes to Mitchell’s and Cam’s to convince Mitchell to help her orchestrate an apology to the entire family.
And so, DeDe starts with Claire, showing up at her house unannounced with Mitchell. From the beginning, the complicated relationship between mother and daughter is apparent in the series. Soon after, Claire also delivers this line, which reflects how she’s grown to resent her mother’s judgmental treatment of her over the years. Unfortunately, this issue doesn’t exactly get addressed in this episode. That said, Claire consciously makes a point to avoid parenting like DeDe by agreeing to meet Haley’s boyfriend, Dylan (ReidEwing). – Jennifer Ong
4 “I guess that’s the real circle of life: Your parents faked their way through it, you fake your way through it, and you just hope you didn’t raise a serial killer.”
Phil Dunphy (Season 2, Episode 10)
In “Dance Dance Revelation,” Jay and Phil took Manny and Luke to the mall, resulting in tension and disagreements all around. When Phil let people take a parking spot and cut in front of them in line, Jay complained he wasn’t teaching the boys how to be men. The episode highlighted Phil and Jay’s very different personalities, as well as Phil’s desire to impress and be liked by Jay, and Phil had some great perspectives on parenting.
Phil’s comment was a reminder that nobody is perfect, especially parents – and that childhood isn’t as far behind as some would like to think. It was a reminder that when it comes to parenting, everyone’s just doing the best they can, and part of being a parent is realizing that was true of your own parents, too. But no words of wisdom from Phil would be complete without his signature sense of humor, and the final statement about not raising a serial killer was the perfect touch.
3 “The hero in my family is my family because of who we are together.”
Manny Delgado (Season 4, Episode 22)
When the episode opens, Manny reveals that he’s supposed to do an essay about a hero in his family, but he hasn’t chosen who it should be yet. That’s why he’s jotted down everyone’s names, even informing Claire that she’s also “in the running”. Later on, Manny realizes that there’s no way he could choose just one hero in the family. To him, they were all heroes together. Unfortunately, Manny ends up with a C-. Other than that, everything’s great.
Manny’s quote is also a reminder of why fans have fallen in love with the Dunphys, Pritchetts, and Tucker-Pritchetts over the years. Sure, they’re not perfect and they’re even dysfunctional sometimes. But despite everything, they’re always there for each other. That’s what being a family is all about. – Jennifer Ong
2 “We do strange things for the people we love. There may be bumps along the way, but we never stop wanting the best for them.”
Claire Dunphy (Season 1, Episode 6)
Claire and Phil had a competitive race in “Run for Your Wife,” following a misunderstanding in which Phil thought that when Claire talked about wanting time alone, she actually meant the opposite. When it came time for the race, Claire chose to let Phil win after seeing his “world’s greatest dad” t-shirt and noting “it seemed like he could use a win.” Although she was being dishonest by doing it, Claire was simply putting Phil’s feelings first.
Claire’s comment – and her willingness to intentionally lose the race – spoke to people’s willingness to do almost anything for loved ones. It echoed other familiar sayings about how far people will go for love, but it also addressed what it means to love someone, in that no matter what hurdles people may face, people who love each other will always want the best for each other. And that didn’t apply to just couples like Claire and Phil but family, too.
1 “Life is full of changes, some big, some small. I learned a long time ago you can fight it or try to make the best of it.”
Jay Pritchett (Season 11, Episode 18)
As Modern Family came to an end in Season 11, the characters embarked on new chapters of their lives. As Jay reflected on the past, as well as what the future held for his whole family, he commented on the changes life brings and how they’ve all been there for each other every step of the way – and would continue to do so, no matter where they were and how much physical distance was between them.
Jay’s observation speaks to the unpredictability of life, from the minor setbacks to major curveballs everyone faces eventually. But most importantly, the quote gets right to the heart of the show itself – family. Facing those challenges is easier with a loving support system, and for Jay, that’s his entire family, from his wife, Gloria, down to his children and grandchildren, who are all there for him in their own ways.
