20 Best One-Off South Park Characters

Ever since debuting in 1997, Trey Parker and Matt Stone’sSouth Park has both served as the flagship series for Comedy Central and cultivated a massive ensemble of characters. And offended a lot of people, of course. But, this equal opportunity offender is most notable for its ability to stay fresh, and one doubts it would be able to do so to such a great extent were it not for the aforementioned cast of characters…including those who have only stepped to the forefront for a single episode, if at all.

So, great as they are, don’t expect to see the Underpants Gnomes here. They’re busy being Santa’s helpers. Furthermore, South Park renditions of real-world celebrities don’t count, so no Alan Jackson from “The Ladder to Heaven,” either. All characters in this list–even those based on real people—are entirely fictional. Unlike the program, the following list does not contain coarse language and, due to its content, it should be read by everyone.

20 Bill Cosby AKA BSM-471

Season 4, Episode 12 – “Trapper Keeper”

In Season 4’s “Trapper Keeper,” the newest hu-man student, er, student, at South Park Elementary School goes by the name Bill Cosby. But, really, he’s a T-800-type cyborg sent back in time to stop an End of Days scenario caused by none other than Eric Cartman. Specifically, Cartman’s trapper keeper (which has a better picture of Dawson’s Creek on it than Kyle’s).

Let’s Play Some Hu-Man Foursquare

With the true identity BSM-471, the cyborg clearly took the name of someone he’d been informed of who was a pop culture icon (pre-disgrace, of course). It’s a funny little random joke, but not nearly as funny as him being immediately seduced by Cartman’s mom as soon as she meets him. Or, rather, it.

19 Bill Stewart and the AARP

Season 7, Episode 10 – “Grey Dawn”

“Grey Dawn” is one of South Park‘s less subtle movie references, and in no way is that a fault. If anything, it’s better than Red Dawn. At the very least, it’s much funnier. That was probably inevitable given a Russian invading force was swapped out for some particularly cranky AARP members.

Huh?!

Like the real-life AARP, South Park‘s version fights on behalf of the United States’ elderly residents. But, instead of lobbying, these AARP members tote machine guns and aren’t afraid to use them. And they’re all following Bill Stewart, who can’t seem to hear a thing, and that’s before an old woman fires a bazooka not far from earshot.

18 Cartman Imposter

Season 4, Episode 15 – “Fat Camp”

Kenny is one of the most famous immortal characters in TV history, but unfortunately dressing up as him doesn’t grant one such powers. Cartman’s imposter learns this the hard way in Season 4’s “Fat Camp.” The audience first meets the boy when Cartman goes to the episode’s title location, but he’s actually a resident of the neighboring rehab clinic.

Should’ve Stayed in Rehab, but He Said No, No, No

At first, Cartman uses the boy to smuggle in candy, so he can profit off the other obese children. He also has the boy step in his shoes and pose as a Cartman for whom fat camp worked, but the unnamed boy’s empathy exposes him to Kyle, who knows Cartman could never display such an emotion with sincerity.

So, then, since Kenny has been imprisoned for performing a sexual act on Howard Stern, Kyle and Stan have the boy switch from playing Cartman to playing Kenny, all so he can continue the aforementioned’s recent proclivity for daredevil stunts. In this case, he climbs up into Ms. Crabtree and resides in her uterus for six hours. And that’s how the unnamed boy died.

17 Emperor Hirohito

Season 3, Episode 11 – “Chinpokomon”

“Chinpokomon” is a fan-favorite episode for good reason. It’s perfect, and almost certainly the best of Season 3. And a big part of its success is the oddly intimidating nature of its antagonist, Emperor Hirohito, who was once the Emperor of Japan during World War II and is now running the Japan Toy Company.

At Least He Gave the World Pengin and Shoe. They’re So Small.

But, the company and their primary product, the Chinpokomon, are a total ruse. The little pseudo-Pocket Monsters are actually just a way to brainwash American children into taking down their own government. And, in the case of the Chinpokomon video game, to practice bombing Pearl Harbor.

16 Future Butters, Cartman, and Stan

Season 6, Episode 16 – “My Future Self n’ Me”

At the least one of the best episodes of Season 6, if not the entire series, “My Future Self ‘n’ Me” is peak South Part when it conveyed core messages without being preachy about it. It involves a few of the boys’ parents hiring actors to portray future versions of their children, all in the hopes that the youngsters will stray from the path of drugs and alcohol.

He’s Probably Watching Becker

But, again, they’re just actors. And this is something that Stan (but not Butters) picks up on rather quickly. Which leads to great moments such as Stan faking severing his arm to try and get Randy and Sharon to admit to it all, only for Randy to then chop off the actor’s arm for real. Or Butters’ future version, who just sits around and watches the Ted Danson-led sitcom Becker all day.

But the best joke of the episode involves future Cartman…who actually is future Cartman. Too bad for him, his spiteful younger self then proceeds to ruin everything with his delivered threat to eat what he wants and do what he wants. Whatever, whatever.

15 The Robbers

Season 12, Episode 7 – “Super Fun Time”

Like the AARP in “Grey Dawn,” the terrorist group in Season 12’s “Super Fun Time” is an outlandish take on the villains in a classic ’80s action movie. And that’s Die Hard, which had the robbers posing as terrorists to steal bearer bonds. But, here, they’re on their way back from robbing…a Burger King.

I am the F***ing Bad Man! Do You Get That?!

The Hans Gruber-looking head of the group’s increasing frustration is the best part of the episode. The episode’s title location is essentially Jamestown if the employees took their jobs even more seriously, absolutely refusing to break character. But there’s also their haul from Burger King, which includes not only (what can’t be but so much) cash, but burgers as well.

14 The Harrisons in

Season 7, Episode 12 – “All About Mormons”

Those who think South Park exists just to offend people are missing the point. But it’s pretty fair for Mormons to feel that way if they’ve seen this Season 7 episode. And, yet, the episode ends up defending them and their religion, even if it finds the belief system silly.

Dum Dum Dum Dum Dum

The Harrisons have a sweet way about them, without a bad word to say about anybody. This includes fourth grader Gary Harrison, who is the episode’s primary focus. But, in the end, he has the gumption to tell off Stan, saying he doesn’t have to respect his religion, but he could have been mature enough to look past that and just see a friend.

13 Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich

Season 8, Episode 8 – “Douche and Turd”

South Park‘s proclivity for political commentary has become a bit much for some. And, fair enough, because it nailed it the first time it really went for it all the way back in Season 8. It also has a pretty great burn against Diddy’s “Vote or Die” campaign.

It’s Always Between Some Douche and Some Turd

Between the Giant Douche and the Turd Sandwich, the vote for funniest probably goes to Turd Sandwich. Why? Because it can’t seem to accept the fact that it’s, well, a Turd Sandwich. It just points its finger at the Giant Douche, running out the clock so it doesn’t have to answer any questions until the buzzer finally rin—.

12 Jeffry L. Goldblum

Season 7, Episode 1 – “Cancelled”

Once Kenny came back from his semi-retirement, the show humorously refrained from explaining it away. And, in general, “Cancelled” is one of the show’s funniest episodes to date. For instance, the character of Jeff, who has supposedly been Chef’s friend for years even if the audience has not once ever seen him or even heard about him.

Wait a Minute…

But that’s not the only hilarious aspect of the character. For one, he’s clearly Jeff Goldblum, but the episode never uses the last name. He mimicks the personality of Goldblum’s characters in Jurassic Park (“Chaos theory!”) and Independence Day and even looks like the man, but it’s never confirmed. And it works like a charm.

11 Larry Feegan

Season 15, Episode 11 – “Broadway Bro Down”

Shelley Marsh has only intermittently received time to shine over the years. She started out as a one-note bully and ended up, well, dead. But “Broadway Bro Down” actually makes her the second most important character, besides Randy, and it works thanks to Larry Feegan.

Just as He was Coming Out of His Shell

Larry is a member of the Feegan family, who openly embrace veganism. But Larry only goes along with it because it’s what his parents want. They’re over-protective, even making him wear a life vest at all times. But, perhaps they had a point, because as soon as he grows a bit and takes off the vest while on a date with Shelley (who pushes for his autonomy and subsequent growth), he’s killed.

10 Keshawn

Season 13, Episode 9 – “Butters’ Bottom B***h”

“Butters’ Bottom B***h” is an amazing episode for Butters Stotch fans. And, yet, it is nonetheless dominated by someone other than the title character. Specifically, police chief Harrison Yates, who takes his persona of sex worker Yolanda way too seriously.

Oh, Keshawn!

Speaking of Yolanda, there’s her pimp: Keshawn. An amalgamation of every pimp stereotype, Keshawn is just the final perp Yates arrests. But the fact that the latter goes through an entire unnecessary charade of a relationship with the former just to slap on the cuffs is a thing of ridiculous beauty.

9 Kevern Zaksor (AKA Baby Fark McGee-Zax)

Season 13, Episode 6 – “Pinewood Derby”

When Randy discovers warp speed while cheating in a pinewood derby contest, it’s only a matter of time before Earth gets some visitors. And, first, it’s Baby Fark McGee-Zax, an intergalactic gangster with a haul of sparkling space cash. Then, a pair of cops, hot on Zaksor’s tail.

See?!

This episode has Randy, and the people of Earth in general, fail to embrace accountability and honesty again and again. For instance, Randy makes Stan murder McGee-Zax just so the space cops won’t figure out the Earthlings are trying to keep the cash.

But, it’s all a ruse, as is revealed when “McGee-Zax” reveals himself as Kevern Zaksor, ambassador to New Planet Testing who, along with the space cops, is merely testing Earth to see if it and its people are worthy of being a part of the Federation of Planets. Needless to say, they all failed.

8 Mr. Conners

Season 13, Episode 10 – “W.T.F.”

Mr. Conners is South Park Elementary’s wrestling teacher. The audience doesn’t know how long he’s been there, but it’s funny to imagine him having been there for years and only getting screentime once the WWE comes to town.

This Isn’t Wrassstling!

Like everyone else who appreciates the sport of wrestling, Mr. Conners knows that the more popular version is totally fake, and he finds it disgraceful. But, in the end, his over-the-top hatred for the WWE not only gets him a new job (after he’s fired from the school for having porn on his phone, which is actually just wrestling videos), but a high-profile one at that. As the WWE’s newest…”wrestler.”

7 Quintuplets

Season 4, Episode 4 – “Quintuplets 2000”

Some guest characters are at their best when they’re teaching the quartet a lesson. And, when it comes to the Quintuplets, the lesson taught to the quartet is to not judge a corner of the Earth to which one has never been.

Everyone Who Still Has a Grandmother Step Forward. Not So Fast, Girls.

Quintuplets 2000 is an early-season charmer, and the Quintuplets themselves are endearing characters. Performers for South Park‘s take on Cirque du Soleil, the “Quints” are sweet-natured, compassionate, grieving, and wrapped up in the boys’ latest scheme. But, they’re remarkably mature, and won’t let themselves be used for long.

6 Romper Stomper

Season 4, Episode 2 – “Cartman’s Silly Hate Crime 2000”

“Cartman’s Silly Hate Crime 2000” actually has the title character show some vulnerability. And to whom does he show it? Romper Stomper, who initially seems like a big bully but ultimately has some vulnerability of his own.

Well, He Got to See Disneyland

After getting Cartman to smuggle in some cigarettes (which Cartman then accidentally flushes down the toilet), Romper Stomper tells him that no one gets out of prison. But, after Cartman starts crying, Romper decides to help him with breaking out. And, once Cartman is freed anyway due to an appeal to the governor, Cartman returns the favor by smuggling in the entirety of Disneyland the same way he snuck in the smokes: up his butt.

5 Stephen Abootman

Season 12, Episode 4 – “Canada on Strike”

One of South Park‘s more controversial episodes, “Canada on Strike” is nonetheless a hoot. And a big part of its success is Stephen Abootman, head of the World Canadian Bureau. AKA…the WGA.

Not Your Buddy, Fwend

A man desperate to secure his own image, Abootman’s idea for his country to go on strike is a disaster. And, for that, he’s set adrift. Which basically means he and his aides are put on a block of ice and forced to float out into the middle of the ocean.

4 Tad Mikowski

Season 6, Episode 2 – “Asspen” ​​​​​​

Tad Mikowski is a play on the villain of the John Cusack movie Better Off Dead. But, in a way, he’s also every other white collar jerk antagonist from the ’80s. And, suffice it to say, Trey and Matt nailed the portrayal.

Stannnn DARSH!

From inexplicably tormenting Stan to challenging him to a skiing competition (to win the heart of a young woman with whom Stan has absolutely no familiarity), he’s as pointless an individual as those seen in the aforementioned decade’s coming-of-age movies. He, and “Asspen” in general, work like a charm.

3 Tom Nelson AKA Bat Dad

Season 9, Episode 5 – “The Losing Edge”

“The Losing Edge” is an episode that shows why South Park is one of the most quotable TV shows of all time. And, while it’s not all Randy’s episode, it’s mostly Randy’s episode. Though, in all fairness, the boys’ shared hatred for the game they’re forced to play is pretty funny.

The Number One Trash-Talking Father

But this was an early example of Randy Marsh becoming an A-level character. And it’s easy to see why things have stayed that way (perhaps to a fault). His Rocky-style desire to fight other drunk dads at his son’s baseball games never gets old, especially once the obese ‘Bat Dad’ starts to give him a run for his extremely drunken money.

2 Travis Mayfield

Season 11, Episode 3 – “Lice Capades” ​

Season 11’s “Lice Capades” is viewed in the most positive light by most South Park fans. But, unlike “Jakovasaurs” and “Royal Pudding,” it’s quite underrated. For one, the B-plot (involving the quartet and other students of South Park Elementary) is solid, e.g. when Cartman gets everyone to take a test that was quite obviously inspired by John Carpenter’s The Thing.

Kelly!!!

But the A-plot is solid, as well. The head louse, Travis Mayfield, is mostly to thank for this, as his Nic Cage-esque heroics make him an endearing character. And, when his wife flies away due to a horrible gust of wind (AKA the blowing of a hair dryer), it’s both sad and hilarious…because the way he screams Kelly is just so memorable.

1 Trent Boyett

Season 8, Episode 10 – “Pre-School”

While Trent Boyett is the antagonist of Season 8’s “Pre-School,” he’s actually the character most worthy of empathy. Well, save for Miss Claridge, who catches on fire only to have the central quartet urinate on her. They want to play “Firemen,” but don’t know how to set a fire, so this is where future tough guy Boyett comes in.

Whatever, That’s Like Five Years from Now

Boyett gets locked up for it after the quartet point their fingers at him. And, when one of them raises the point that he’s going to come back with a vengeance, little Cartman says that it’ll be half a decade from that point. Then, when that clock stops ticking, Boyett returns only to have Miss Claridge again suffer at the hands of the quartet (which, like the first time, was an accident, this time thanks to a tazer). And, again, Cartman says it’ll be five years before they have to worry about Boyett.