So, after all that planning, and a long travel day, you’ve finally arrived at your dream vacation destination. Your eyes are shimmering with wonder at the unfamiliar scene before you, as you drink in a new culture.
Unfortunately for you, this is an expression that communicates, as equally as it does awe, that you’re a walking, talking bag of foreign cash. You’re finally in Florence, but a certain strain of locals is about to play a version of flag football that swaps colored cloth for wallets full of freshly exchanged euros.
If you’re going on a trip soon, here are five common scams to keep in mind. If you’re not going on a trip, you can simply read about them and appreciate the fact that, honestly, they’re pretty good.
The Free Bracelet/Trinket
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An old cliche that will serve you well in unfamiliar territory is the classic, “There’s no such thing as a free lunch.” This saying also applies to souvenirs. How it goes is that a seemingly friendly local presses some souvenir into your palm, or ties a bracelet to your wrist, acting very much like it’s a welcome gift, if not outright claiming it’s free. Where I grew up, in Washington D.C., the forcible gift of choice was a small American flag pin.
Once you’ve claimed ownership through sheer awkwardness, you’re informed that the item is, in fact, NOT free, and that they sure would like you to pay them right now, sometimes claiming it’s a “donation.” “Can’t you just give it back,” you might think, and the answer is absolutely not. Which you will be told in increasingly aggressive tones.
The Broken Taxi Meter
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A popular one in any city populated with cab drivers is a cab offering you a ride from the airport, only to inform you that their meter is broken, and instead telling you what the trip would have cost. This sounds simple enough, especially if you’re not especially street smart, until you realize that the reason taxis have meters installed isn’t for the benefit of the drivers. They don’t have any trouble thinking up an amount of money they’d like, and if you don’t have any evidence to the contrary, it’s not like they can drive you back in reverse to undo the ride.
The easy solve, whether it’s a cab with a “broken meter” or an unmetered car service, is to ask how much the trip is before you get in the car.
Of course, with Uber and similar services, this scam has probably fallen out of favor, since Uber is perfectly happy to rip you off directly on your phone screen and call it “surge pricing.”
The Spill-and-Stain Switcheroo
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You’re drinking in the picturesque sights of beautiful Brussels, when suddenly someone collides with you, covering you in a drink, milkshake or pretty much anything else that will soak into clothing.
At first, it seems like this would be the opposite of someone trying to get away with subterfuge. Drawing the attention of everyone nearby seems counterintuitive, and you’re sure as hell not only aware of them, but probably pissed off. Therein lies the sneaky key, though: You’re pissed off at them for spilling on you, which they’re overly apologetic about, trying to help you clean up. They’re much happier for you to be pissed about that than pissed at the fact that they or a friend are pickpocketing the hell out of you while they’re wiping gelato off your shirt.
I’ve Fallen, and I Can’
t Get Up
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If a possible pickpocket thinks the previous plan is too subtle and too narrow in target, they go for another classic distraction. One that I do have to applaud for its, dare I say, elegance. All they need is an accomplice who is a frail, elderly looking woman. In any busy area, this creaky-boned conspirator takes a dive and screams bloody murder. Everyone around her is quickly trying to make sure someone’s grandma didn’t just die in the middle of a street fair, and less making sure they’re watching their luggage.
Obviously, if someone’s actual old relative genuinely cracks a hip and you roll right over her with your Samsonite, you’ll look like a true sociopath. Which is the thing that makes this whole scam work in the first place.
Bad Spider-Man
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Or, you can go to Times Square and avoid any of the trickery at all. You’re just going to take a picture with a guy dressed as Spider-Man, and by the time you smell the vodka on his suit, it’s too late. You’re going to pay him $25 for the picture, or your kids are going to watch their favorite Avenger curb-stomp their dad.
