Considering it’s been airing for over two-and-a-half decades, Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s South Park has had to adapt to stay fresh. And, in many ways, it’s succeeded. One example of how it’s adapted is the 2021 agreement with Paramount+ to produce 14 films. That said, Trey and Matt have rejected the notion of these being movies, and that’s fair considering they’re closer to extended episodes than the actual South Park movie from way back in 1999.
We’re now seven “movies” in, halfway, so what better time to rank them? Just note that this list will only include the specials released after the deal was inked. So, no The Pandemic Special or South ParQ Vaccination Special here because, one, they’re just extra-long episodes (together they comprise Season 24) and, two, they were released prior to the Paramount+ deal.
7 (Not Suitable for Children)
If anything these days is ripe for parody, it’s the combination of OnlyFans and social media influencers. They’re two semi-professions that are both lucrative and utterly devoid of any sort of discernible skill or talent. Social media influencing takes the A-plot, with the kids of South Park all being obsessed with a sugary drink called Cred.
A Swing and a Miss
The Cred stuff doesn’t work as well as it should, so the episode relies on the B-plot. And, considering Randy drives that B-plot by crafting bottomless OnlyFans videos (which, naturally, aren’t that lucrative), there’s at least one recurring gag that works.
The two plots merge with an indictment of social media influencers’ power, and how young people, in particular, can be swayed by whatever it is they have to say (or sell) that day. It’s a decent point, but for a special that selected two perfect targets, South Park (Not Suitable for Children) is the biggest disappointment of the bunch to date.
6 Joining the Panderverse
Joining the Panderverse is primarily about “forced wokeness,” especially when it comes to Disney. Classic IPs are being brought back from the dead and given a modern “woke” spin in ways that don’t do anything to truly advance the material. It’s all an attempt to reach a larger audience. Or, as a cynic (who isn’t entirely wrong) might put it, play it safe. Like a few of the other specials, it’s Cartman-dominated, with him going through a portal to a different universe where he and his peers are 30-something, racially diverse women.
B-Plot Before A-Plot
That’s the A-plot, and it seldom works. Having Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy take Cartman’s physicality and persona, in particular, is a bit of a head-scratcher. What does work is the B-plot, at least for a while. Randy Marsh is trying to find a repairman, but has come to realize their prices have gone through the roof because their skills have become more marketable than ever.
These days, people are more likely to make a TikTok dance than actually learn a practical skill. It’s a joke (is it a joke?) that runs thin towards the end of the hour, but because it’s stone-cold accurate, it’s enough to make Joining the Panderverse worth watching at least once.
5 Post COVID: The Return of COVID
South Park has always been swayed by real-world events, increasingly so over time. Post COVID and its sequel, The Return of COVID, were released in 2021, right at the height of the pandemic. And, for a comedy released during a depressing time, it doesn’t really hit the funny mark. After all, it elaborates on the death of Stan’s sister, Shelley, and their mother’s subsequent taking of her own life.
The First Part Was Better
All of the stuff about the future that worked in Post COVID grows stale in The Return of COVID, except maybe the concept that all the doorbells are just Trey Parker singing about how future doorbells sing. This is especially true of the cyborg Amazon Alexas, which was a bit that didn’t really work in the first part and only becomes more prevalent in the second.
One thing it does have that Post COVID didn’t is Butters. For one, his parents having abandoned him is right on the money. And, two, speaking of money, him being institutionalized for hawking ridiculous NFTs is a solid joke, as is the outcome of the two-parter being Cartman as a screaming, homeless, cranky, even-more-obese alcoholic.
4 The Streaming Wars Part 2
The best part of The Streaming Wars Part 2 (outside Randy coming to terms with the fact his character has changed so much as to be unrecognizable) is arguably the very beginning, when a reporter comments on a thrown-out court case by saying “and once again, streaming services have made everything suck.” It’s gutsy the way South Park should be, considering the mini-movie is the direct result of a deal with a streaming service.
There’s also a nice dig against famous cryptocurrency proponents like Matt Damon, with him eating pasta made with urine instead of advocating a fictional currency that bankrupted people not rolling around in Ocean’s Eleven money.
At Least It’s Still Funny Seeing ManBearPig in a Suit
But, in the end, The Streaming Wars Part 2 is another case of one of the “movies” failing to wrap up with a satisfying payoff. Tolkien’s dad going missing at the end of the first part remains a major part of the second, and it’s never particularly interesting. That said, Part 2 does kill off Pi Pi, a character first introduced back in Season 13 then kept out of the spotlight for a decade…the randomness of which (having him be the specials’ big bad) is humorous.
3 Post COVID
Centering on adult versions of the fourth graders, South Park: Post COVID is the first of the 14 specials. And, given the time jump, it does enough to stand apart. But, considering it didn’t take 40 years for the COVID-19 pandemic to subside, it’s a special that played better back in 2021 than it does now.
“Her Name’s Yentl.”
Yet, there’s some stuff that still works. Its vision of the future is pretty funny, as is its vision of the boys turned men. Kenny’s face remains covered, just by a scraggly beard, Stan’s become perpetually depressed, Kyle remains the glue to an extent, and Cartman is, well, a rabbi. Naturally, it’s that Cartman bit that’s both the most surprising and the undoubted highlight of Post COVID.
2 The End of Obesity
The End of Obesity is a great mini-movie for Cartman, more than anyone else. It’s centered around Ozempic, which becomes an option for him and, instead of dreaming about how it could improve both the span and quality of his life, he fantasizes about how he could make fun of everyone with seeming impunity. In his mind, the only thing they could come back at him with is a dig about his weight. It’s a great look into his utter disconnect from reality in terms of how his behavior affects others…and his utter ambivalence to that effect.
Only the Third Act Is Outright Weak
The best part of The End of Obesity, however, is its takedown of the U.S. healthcare system. Considering just how massive a disaster it is, it’s an easy target, but once again South Park is right on the money.
The boys enter an insurance agency and are greeted with warmth and a smile. But, once the boys specify that they need something from the agency as opposed to wanting to pay for something, the warmth goes away and they’re assigned a rep slower than a sloth. It helps The End of Obesity feel closer to a middle era (AKA Seasons 8-13) episode more than any of the other specials. And, considering that era might have been the last fully solid one, that’s a good thing.
That said, once Kyle and Butters start producing semaglutides of their own, and the sugar industry sends all of their breakfast cereal mascots after them, the special becomes a bit too silly for its own good.
1 The Streaming Wars
What makes the first part of The Streaming Wars a winner is its meta-commentary on artists crafting content for multiple streaming services, and how that inevitably leads to a slip in quality. That’s not inapplicable to South Park, and it seems Trey and Matt are aware of that. It’s also the best use of ManBearPig since the Imaginationland trilogy.
Continuing the Trend of the First Part Being Better Than the Second
Having Randy be a Karen is a joke that works the first few times, and thankfully, isn’t hammered into the ground so much as to be annoying. Plus, having Cartman make his way into the other boys’ boat-making gig by claiming his mom needs surgery (in reality, he wants her to get breast enhancement so they can move out of their closed-down hotdog restaurant) is perfectly in-character, as is where that leads.
